Ultimate Shinobi : A Naruto RPG
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 Arashi (Tempest)

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Caranore
Leaf Jounin
Leaf Jounin
Caranore



Arashi (Tempest) Empty
PostSubject: Arashi (Tempest)   Arashi (Tempest) EmptyThu Oct 29, 2009 9:43 pm

Name: Arashi (Tempest)

Rank: S-Rank

Type: Ninjutsu

Element: Wind

Description: Arashi is aptly named, being able to cause wide and mass destruction. A small orb is formed in the users hand, a layer of condensded chakra on the outside, and a large amount of wind chakra on the inside. The wind chakra is condensed to the point where should anything penetrate, or distrurb it, the entire thing will become unstable should Ryuu NOT be concentrating on it at that point in time. While in the orb, the wind chakra swirls and swirls, creating a mini tornado or hurricane with the air inside.

Once the orb is formed, Ryuu has 2 options. He can throw the orb, using wind chakra to push it farther. Once the orb collides with someone or something, or lands, the orb will burst. The condensed wind chakra inside will tear through the layer of regular chakra, and mix with the regular air. Shortly after the minor explosion from the wind chakra escaping, the mixing into the air will cause a very large and destructive tornado or, if there is enough wind chakra, a hurricane. once formed, either natural disaster becomes real, and stops being chakra based. Depending on which on is formed, the storm will last for 3 posts as a tornado, or 5 posts and a class 4 hurricane. If the air is very humid when the orb was formed, and excessive amounts of moisture were present in the orb at the time of release, only then will the hurricane form.

A variation of this technique is for Ryuu to make a very small orb in his hand, and then crush it, manipulating the wind chakra inside to increase in speed and swirl arounf his hand, creating a mini-tornado. The tornado will swirl and pick up minor rocks and items, spitting them every which way, and can absorb and incorporate up to C-Rank Wind, Earth, Water, and Lightning techniques, and D-Rank Fire. The tornado will begin spinning with those elements, but only for a short period of time, 2 posts (one to gather, one to attack). When the tornado is formed, Ryuu will normally speed at the opponent and strike at them, be it a fist or an open palm, alowing the rocks and small items (shuriken included) to attack the opponent and grind away. A full contact blow will, of course, knock back the enemy. The swirling wind will also disrupt their hearts rhythm, making it harder for them to stand back up or move.

If fire is incorporated, the opponent will suffer minor burns.

If water is incorporated, the area where the opponent was stuck will bloat, causing mobility around that area to be limited.

If earth is incorporated, a larger area of grinding wil be felt, and with more force, most likely stripping away part of the skin.

If lightning is incorporated, and Ryuu manages to hit a nerve center, then movement in the surrounding area will be disconfigured. A direct hit on the arm for example will cause the forward impulse to move the arm back, and vice versa. Those pulses will all be scrambled for 2 posts.

On the downside however, this technqiue takes a very large amount of time to form. For the large form, it will take 3 posts. One for creation of the orb, one for the orb being thrown, and one for the storm to be fully formed. This will also take about 40% of Ryuu's chakra and is best used with a team.

The small form takes one post to form, but it takes 20% of Ryuu's chakra. He will also be harmed by the elements absorbed, and be unable to use this technique for another 3 posts once completed. The effects of this technique will strain his chakra coils to such an extent that using the technique again any time before the 3 posts are up will risk completely destroying the chakra coils in his arm.

The large version will take 5 posts to cooldown and reuse after the storm has run its course, but using it a second time will require an additional 5% chakra

Link: (When making new jutsus you must train them. Read the Training Page in rules. post the link here for admins to check)


Last edited by Caranore on Fri Oct 30, 2009 5:27 am; edited 4 times in total
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L33
Leaf Genin
Leaf Genin
L33



Arashi (Tempest) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Arashi (Tempest)   Arashi (Tempest) EmptyThu Oct 29, 2009 10:18 pm

Well Cara, first off i'd just like to say, thats one hell of a jutsu ^^ i've taken a good read over it, I'll list the points below that i believe could do with a little ulteration.

1.) Hurricanes in general have a high percentage of water, there normaly the result of a tornado forming out at sea not far from a coast. Obviously moving towards land they take some amount of water with them. While this dosen't affect your tornado version i feel the hurricane should be a result of wind + water chakra or be used in an area with a large area of water (i.e a lake/ocean.) With this in mind i don't see how it would be possible to add fire to the hurricane version.

2.) This is just my opinion but i feel this jutsu could cause some serious damage, quickly and to a vast area. I like the fact that you've given it a cool down after it's use but i feel it should take up more chakra and have a longer cool down, plus high fatigue costs on your character. I'll give an example below:-

Chakra Cost:-
Large Form: 40%
Small Form: 20%
(However i don't feel you should use anymore chakra IF someone else combines an elemental attack with your own. Extra damage/fatigue would still be done.)

Large Form Cool Down: 6 Posts
Small Form Cool Down: 3 "

3.) Could you please put more detail/explanation when you state that you can make the damage/fatigue go away using your chakra? Do you have somesort of medical jutsu that aids this process?

Finaly, what i've stated above may be incorrect if you'd like a second opinion i'd go for it dude. ^_^
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Caranore
Leaf Jounin
Leaf Jounin
Caranore



Arashi (Tempest) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Arashi (Tempest)   Arashi (Tempest) EmptyThu Oct 29, 2009 10:42 pm

Note: the elements can only be added to the small, fist version tornado one.

Edited.

Also, Im unsure about the little healing thing, as that might actually be a medical jutsu. If so, I will talk to a fuuinjutsu and med ninja to come up with a seal for this for me. (kinda like Tsunade's but takes forever to charge up, heals only a specific area, etc)
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Fαταl Aττrαcτioη ♥
Leaf Genin
Leaf Genin
Fαταl Aττrαcτioη ♥



Arashi (Tempest) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Arashi (Tempest)   Arashi (Tempest) EmptyFri Oct 30, 2009 3:54 am

To be honest, a technique as destructive and condensed as this should take a lot more chakra than you have specified. And just because you have a 'smaller' version of this tech with it, since you can also add elements, and cause just as much destruction, if not, more, there should be little to no difference in the amount of chakra used between the 'larger' and 'smaller' version.

I also fine your medical enhancements as an addition, kinda.. ridiculous. Or maybe I'm not understanding you fully. :X
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Caranore
Leaf Jounin
Leaf Jounin
Caranore



Arashi (Tempest) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Arashi (Tempest)   Arashi (Tempest) EmptyFri Oct 30, 2009 4:04 am

The medical bit is still iffy, but im probably going to change it so that a Fuuin expert will create a seal that converts normal chakra, to medical chakra and 'purge the hand'. Basically, the damaged cells will be expelled from the hand, rendering the hand useless for 3 posts. The seal would only affect the area of the hand damaged by the mini tornado, and only used once a battle.
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Fαταl Aττrαcτioη ♥
Leaf Genin
Leaf Genin
Fαταl Aττrαcτioη ♥



Arashi (Tempest) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Arashi (Tempest)   Arashi (Tempest) EmptyFri Oct 30, 2009 4:49 am

Ahh, I see.. Hmm, I would still like to have an admin's opinion on this. Since it's S rank, and I'm not so confident the trial mod, haha. I like to make sure things are okay with the admins first. ^^;
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Jiro
Leaf ANBU
Leaf ANBU
Jiro



Arashi (Tempest) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Arashi (Tempest)   Arashi (Tempest) EmptyFri Oct 30, 2009 5:29 am

The technique is fine. The healing isnt. I suggest you replace the damaging of the hand with a straining of chakra coils within it and that any further use within 3 posts will warp your chakra coils. That way their is no need to involve medical based ninjutsu
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Jiro
Leaf ANBU
Leaf ANBU
Jiro



Arashi (Tempest) Empty
PostSubject: Re: Arashi (Tempest)   Arashi (Tempest) EmptyFri Oct 30, 2009 5:31 am

Looks fine now. Approved. Now get training Smile
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