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 Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )

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Initake

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PostSubject: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Sun Nov 22, 2009 9:36 am

General Information
Name: Initake Teishoku

Nickname/Alias:

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Looks: Initake stands about five feet ten inches tall. He weighs about 190 pounds, and is slightly overweight, calculated by muscle mass, bone mass, and other things, but he doesn't really care about that, for the most part, he uses it to his advantage. He is lanky-looking, and his arms are toned, aong with his legs, but it is his abdomen that makes him overweight.

He is not the prettiest face. He is average in looks, as far as everyone is concerned. He has blue eyes, a deep blue, kinda of like an ocean in the middle of a hurricane, and they seem to toss and turn like an ocean in a hurricane it seems as well. His eyes change color with the weather, green in warm weather, lighter blue in the cooler weather, to a gray-ish color when it rains, but there are many variations. He has dirty-blonde hair, and it is short. His hair is not quite a buzz, but it is short, coming to only a little above the top of his ears in length in the front. he has a small goatee, same color as the hair, and it is about three or four inches long.

He also has a specific thing about him that makes him easy to pick out in a crowd. He has a giant scar that begins above his left eye, and runs diagonally across his face, to the bottom of his right cheek.

Personality: Initake always seems to be drifting out of mind. He is a dreamer, but it is only a day-dreamer. He always tends to overlook things, and think too deeply into things most of the time. He enjoys intellectual conversation, though he is afraid tha most around him are not smart enough for him, so he tends to keep quiet, most of the time.

He feels that the world is out to get him due to past deeds he had done as a child. he used to terrorize those around him, and he is always suspicious, and has a very guilty conscience most of the time. He also tends to repeat himself alot, for he has a short attention span. He also has ADD/ADHD, so he can get annoying very easily. He is like a four year old wanting ccandy. He will not stop complaining until he gets what he wants, and he is persistent about it.

He has goals in life, guaranteed they may not be the best goals, but they are goals nonetheless.He wishes to become an all powerful ninja, but for the wrong things. He wanted to be known for his deeds for murder, and the slaughter of all that get in his path. This man, is bloodthirsty.

he is also very spontaneous, and weird. He is not talkative, though when he is, it is always something that is laugh out loud funny. No one can resist his humor, and if they can, they secretly are emo. He is very weird, and most of his jokes are sexual.

Personality Trait's: Initake is innovative. He tries to come up with new things everyday. He is now currently working on this game called baseball, and tries to focus on making this game official, but with his many head problems, he cannot.

Catch Phrase: He has two, both very weird.
1. " I am not a whore!"
2. "You know you can't resist my sexiness!"

Clan Information

Clan Name: Tegouchi Clan

Kekkei Genkai: (What is your clan's set of abilities?) His can kkg is that they can control colors. hey can make people colorblind, turn a certain amount of objects different colors, and they can also use any sort of color, and twist it to make a different color. Having this, he can use this to his advantage in different sorts of ways and in different situations.

For instance, he could blind someone with a bright ass light, or he could make someone fall down a flight of stairs by making them not be able to see.

Since his family is the master of colors, he also has the power to manipulate them. He can change peoples' skin color, and change the surroundings colors completely, but to a certain extent, making this one of the more useful, but non-lethal KKg's out there.

Clan Symbol: This clan's symbol is just a multi-colored object. It has many different colors, lik red, green, blue, yellow, orange, purple, etc. It is in the form of an oval. And the darker colors for lower on the oval, and the lighter or brighter on top.

Clan History: The Tegouchi clan was created by Initake himself. He was afraid that the people that were "after him" were going to kill him.Since he has a guilty conscience, he thinks "worst-case scenario" every time, so he formed this clan just to make sure that nothing happens to he or his family. He had recently learned that one person he recently fucked with was a member of the Akatsuki, so he made sure that the clan was beefed up enough to make sure they could fend them off, should they attack. And since he had just recently as well left the village of Iwa, some of the members of this clan still stick with him, though most have disowned him.

The clan was actually before a gang on the srtreets back about 50 years ago, and no one took their power seriously. Their leader was Initake's grandfather, and he was completely blind, and was an autistic savant, and could focus on one thing for a littl time, and remember it forever. The grandfather, he espcailly remembered colors well, so he used this to be a shinobi. He then learneed how to control them, and manipulate them, so he now remembers all of the motions needed, and ll of this was passed through their bloodstream, the blindness, and the rest of the clan is blind in some way, colorblind, or whatever, but it skipped Initake, he cannot focus on anything, and dos not have the best memory. So this is part of the reason why they disowned him. He got sick of it, and was part of the reason why he became a missing ninja in the first place.


Rank Information:
Rank: C Rank Missing Ninja
Village: None. Formerly Iwagakure.

Skill Information

Skill Specialty: Genjutsu, Ninjutsu, Weaponry
Main: Genjutsu
Sub: Ninjutsu
Elemental Affinity: Lightning, Wind
Main: Wind
Sub: Lightning

Special Characteristics: Initake is a blacksmith, meaning that he can forge his own weapons.


Items/Weapons:

Name: Rasshu - Lash
Appearance: It is a whip used for melee attacks. It has pointed barbed wire on its edges, and that makes it hurt all the more. It is made out of tough leather, making it hurt all the more as well, also making it susceptible to fire and water, but the air makes it harder, especially the cold air, making it hurt like a son of a bitch.
Rank: D-C
Special Abilities:
Origin: Since he is a blacksmith, he originally had made the whip a few months before he had left the village of Iwa. His father had one similar to it, but he figured he could do better, so his father, as a bet, gave him a hammer, and used their family anvil ( they owned the weapon shop in town), and had him create one, if he won, he got to keep it, if he lost, his father got to beat him him with 30 lashes. He won, thanks to his fathers sudden change in opinion, for he did not like the way it looked in development. He had skinned a cow to get the leather, and made the wire with the blacksmithing skill.

Jutsus: (Use the the following template)

Name: Twilight
Rank: D
Type: Genjutsu
Element: None
Description: The user snaps their finger simultaneously, and then the opponent, if within 30 yards, becomes shrouded by darkness, they cannot see anything but darkness for a total of about 1 post. Also, after the bodily action, it requires three unique hand signs, specific to the jutsu.
Medical use/Bastardized use: (For Medical jutsu only. Describe what qualifies this jutsu as medical. What is it's medical use or how was it bastardized from its original medical use, as in the case of poisons, etc.)

Name: Fuzz
Rank: C
Type: Genjutsu
Element: None
Description: The user shrugs violently, like having a seizure, and then when doing this, an opponent within 25 yards becomes blinded by the sight somewhat resembling television fuzz, when you have no signal. This lasts for about a post or two, depending on how violently the user shrugs, or how close the opponent is. After the shrugging is complete, it is required to but one hand sign.
Medical use/Bastardized use:

Name: Blood
Rank: C
Type: Genjutsu
Element: None
Description: The user scratches themselves hard, and then an opponent within 20 yards becomes exposed to blood inn their vision. They see blood on the ground, and blood on themselves, looking like they are bleeding, making them seem a little paranoid. Lasts for two posts, and requires two hand signs.

Name: Sulfur
Rank: C
Type: Genjutsu
Element: None
Description: The user crosses their arms, in an X pattern, and then they blink four times, and then any enemy within 30 yards sees the color of sulfur, and blinded to anything else. For instance, they see a tree, the tree itself and the foliage, is a bright yellow, like sulfur. Requires three hand signs.

Name: Mercury
Rank: C
Type: Genjutsu
Element: None
Description: The user salivates, and then spits directly in front of them three times, and then any enemy within 40 yards is hit with an illusion making them colorblind, having them see all lime green, the color of liquid mercury. This effect lasts for 10 seconds. But, since it is a bright color, it has an after effect. After the original effect wares off, the enemy could experience either one of two things. One is extreme dizziness that lasts for 1 post. Allowing them not to perform any jutsus above their limited rank, and makes them lose their balance. Or two, they could suffer from a migraine, allowing them to be susceptible to loud noises, such as a yell, and if they are exposed to this, they may then lose focus. If they lose focus, their adrenaline levels go down, which makes their chakra levels go down and not pump as fast. Requires 5 hand signs, with aout a quarter second between each.

Name: Manganese
Rank: C
Type: Genjutsu
Element: None
Description: ( As you may have noticed, i am naming some after elements.) The user thrusts their arms upward, sort of in victory, does one hand sign, and any opponent, or hostile being within 30 yards becomes blinded by the color pink. Any color pink. They can only see pink, even when they close their eyes. Lasts for 1 post.

Name: Nova
Rank: C
Type: Genjutsu
Element: None
Description: The user opens their eyes wide, and then views the battlefield a few times over, and then, when he sees something moving, any living hostile or neutral being is blinded by a white light, that stands in effect for 2 posts but it has a smaller radius of only 20 yards. Also requires 3 hand signs, and requires one second of hand sings, or 4 hand signs, whichever comes first, during the jutsus effect, or else it will where off right then and there.


Name: Bolt
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Lightning
Description: The user performs three hand signs, and then puts their hands in sot of a cup,, facing upwards, and lightning begins to come down. For a genin, only about 3 bolts come down, and will not assure a hit. They hit most of the time.

Name: Lightning Ball
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Lightning
Description: The user performs 4 hand signs and then releases a ball of lightning chakra at the enemy, and if it hits, it hurts them, and has a small possibility of paralyzing them for one post.


Name: Lightning Strike
Rank: D
Type: Ninjutsu/Weaponry
Element: Lightning
Description: The user uses the chakra flow in their weapon to attack, and then when the attack lands, the person hit is dealt with extra damage equivalent to a D Rank lightning ninjutsu, as well as the other damage.

Name: Gust
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Wind
Description: The user performs three hand signs, outstretches his hands, to nearly their maximum extent, and then oushes them forward, creating a gust of about 50-60 MPH, enough to make someone lose their balance. And then the user controls the direction of the wind, by the motion of their hands. This can only last for one post with the direction control, and it can only last two posts for the actual gust. Also may be disrupted if hit by anything.

Name: Pressure
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Wind
Description: The user preforms a series of hand signs and then slams their hand downward, having a great deal of force, with the chill of wind, come down on the opponent, and is nearly undodgeable, it is much harder to hit a moving target than a stationary one. The result of this jutsu will mainly result in one or two things. One, the opponent will fall to the ground due to the insane amount of pressure on their head, or two, just get a massive head and backache, which may or may not last.

Name: Draft
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: Wind
Description: The user performs five hand signs one after another and then they distribute some of the wind chakra in their chakra pool by exhaling, and then manipulates the chakra by having it meld with the cold air around him. The user then throws it at the enemy, rendering the enemy chilled and not being able to use a jutsu for one of their posts.

Name: George

Nickname: George

Species: It is a buzzard.

Looks: http://www.africanbirdclub.org/countries/grf_global/Tanzania-Augur-Buzzard.jpg [/img]

It's wingspan is larger than most. George is one of the strongest buzzards in the desert, or anywhere as far as Initake is concerned. George carried two men of about 200 lbs each, and that is very impressive of a bird his size. is wingspan is about 10 feet, very large. He has a smaller beak than most, only about 3 inches or so long, so pecking is not one of his strong points in combat. But, his talons are sharp, for he allows Initake to sharpen them without a problem, so he is very good with stabbing, and slicing with his talons, and they are about 7 or 8 inches long each.

He has gray and white wings, and his body is white on his stomach, and he is a mix of gray and black on his back. His eyes are a darker shade of green, and you can barely see his pupils. His beak is a red-orange.



Personality: George is very loyal. He most of the time listens to Initake. He does not rush into battle, he listens to commands, and does them precisely. The buzzard usually does not use his beak, unless the creature or humanoid he is defenseless, or very weak. He uses his talons mainly.

The only time when he disobeys is when he smells the stench of something rotting, or something that is dead. He is attracted to those sort of things, and he tries to resist the urge to go after them, for Initake usually kills rats and things that he finds, and feeds him.

He is very calm and laid-back. He allows Initake to file his talons to make them sharper, and does give a rats ass if it hurts a little bit. But sometimes, his personality is contradictory. He will sometimes, when bored, will become spontaneous and do anything that won't kill him. He is that kind of bird.

Age: About 7 years old, maybe 30-40 years old in human years.

History: Initake had first met George his first day being a Missing Ninja. He was on his way to Wind Country, sohe jumped on his back, and the buzzard didn't seem to care. He just kept on flying. Initake has not so much history otherwise with George, but Initake feels that wiith each passing second, their bond seems closer, and that they will remain this way until the day one of them dies.




Background Information:

BIRTH ARC

Spoiler:
 

CHILDHOOD ARC

Spoiler:
 

ACADEMY ARC

Spoiler:
 


GENIN ARC

Spoiler:
 


MISSING NINJA ARC

Spoiler:
 




RP Sample: Look at my first charrys death or konohas second chuunin exams.

http://ultimateshinobi.forummotion.com/administration-building-f18/one-that-shall-not-be-missed-death-p-single-post-t1937.htm


Last edited by Necromancer Guy on Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:06 am; edited 11 times in total
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Initake

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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Tue Nov 24, 2009 11:30 pm

finished here for now, I will add my other items and jutsus and w.e else i want to in the other application sections, but for now i am done.
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Jiro
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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:05 am

C Rank Missing Nin Rank requires Adams approval. Get that and the app will be reviewed

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Jiro
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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:24 am

At 17 your quite old for a genin if you were not a missing nin i would not allow it

Clan History is confusing and doesn’t explain the kkg at all. Making your family a clan doesn’t change its status, wealth or make it safer

Why would your lash come more potent because of proximity to metal

Twilight – A average post lasts around 6 real time seconds, just change the use to one post and remove the time related components. Please use hand seals

Fuzz – Again remove time component and replace with a post. Please add hand sign use and up to C rank.

Blood – Two posts is fine, remove the time component and add hand seals

Sulfer – Again hand seal please

Mercury – Confusing description. What is ‘limited rank’ and better explain how this in any way affect someone’s chakra supply. Use hand signs

Manganese – Change 10 seconds to one post

Nova – Use handseals change 20 seconds to two posts

Need RP Sample

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Initake

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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:32 am

oh dur.... i forgot about the rp sample.....

but i mean by limited rank by a genin's limited rank for jutsus is C Rank, so, if i used that jutsu, they could not use C Rank jutsus if they were a genin.
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Jiro
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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:49 am

The clan history issue hasnt been resolved

The metal aspect of the whip still makes no logical sense either define how it works in a logical manner or remove it

Mecury - remove the aspect about chakra depletion, the adrenaline bit is fine

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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Wed Nov 25, 2009 3:16 am

Its all passable, though Fuzz still needs to be upped to C rank. Though you might want to consider adding some elemental affinities before I approve this

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Absolute Greed.
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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:46 am

Uh... the color KKG is actually sort of OP... could you make it temporary... or illusionary?
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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Sun Nov 29, 2009 7:14 am

It is temporary.... it only last a for a few seconds, so that kinda balances it out lolz.
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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:16 am

done, as you can tell i will add the rest in the creation sections.
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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:28 am

Draft should be made C Rank and we all done. The character is interesting though the standard of the app is a bit lower then the norm. In the future you might want to double check your grammar in that future, there are a fair few mistakes and not all the jutsu are very well defined.

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Last edited by Jiro on Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:26 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:31 am

A few questions. I know i explain things more difficultly than they have to be.

Give me an example of one jutsu that could be defined better, and how i could do so. and how would i make the app more up to standard, if not higher than standard, beef up the history a little more? the personality and looks? what?
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Jiro
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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:35 am

I would rather not discuss it on app but if you would like I would be happy to on cbox or pm, since while related it isnt strictly relavent to the app and I dont want to clog up this thread with generic app advice

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Initake

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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:01 am

I will keep this in mind. If you want me to change this, just let me know in the chatbox.
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Jiro
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PostSubject: Re: Initake Teishoku ( Finally done, just will add weaponry and items l8r. )   Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:26 am

Approved

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